Goddess
by NeonZangetsu
Summary: No mere man could ever hope to be her equal. No mere mortal could surpass her brilliance. None...except a God Slayer. Defeated by the one man she loathes above all, she slowly finds herself falling for the one individual she can never have, even as she swears revenge. Will lust become the love she seeks? Or is she doomed to loneliness? NarutoxMinerva! Fluff, Drama, Angst, Love.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Let the slew of updates continue! Remember, we know next to nothing of Minerva's past, but an idea occured to me and I decided to give her one that might very well explain her bitchiness a bit. I hope you like it. And for those of you who are wondering, I HAVE been continuing my stories haven't I? That means this one will be continued as well!**

**Now, let us enjoy the chapter!**

_"Guildmates, friends, family. Allow me to introduce to you...my Naruto."_

_~Minerva._

**Alliance**

_Minerva._

Goddess of Wisdom.

My mother named me after a Goddess, hoping I would grow up to be proud and beautiful and strong. She was right. I am strong. But I'm not strong enough. I wasn't strong enough to prevent her death, all those years ago, wasn't strong enough to save her from her illness. I was weak. Powerless. Helpless. There was nothing I, Minerva, named after the Goddess of Wisdom, could do. I could but hold her hand, as she breathed her last breaths, as she died, weak, bedridden, and alone. I was seven years old when she passed. Just a child in the eyes of the world, but not to my father. My father was strong. He had to be; because he was the master of a guild, a places where mages of incredible power gathered.

_Sabretooth._

He had no time for weakness. He barely even had time for me. All that changed on my thirteenth birthday. One of Father's regular guild meetings turned into an attempt upon his life when an assasin, one of his trusted subourdinates, tried to kill him. He failed, as I recall. After all, _I_ was the one who left his body in little bloody pieces without even touching him. At the time, I hadn't wanted my father to die. I'd already lost my mother to disease and the thought of losing him was unbearable. I was young, naiev,e and so very stupid. How could I have know that it was merely a _charade_ an elaborate ruse to discern whether or not I was worthy of being his daughter? By then, I had already thrown my life away, I just didn't know it yet.

I was fourteen by the time my father realized I held the potential to become a mage; a wielder of magic. He was delighted. _I wasn't._ He spent the next seven years pounding everything he knew in to me, day in and day out. From sun up, to sun down, I found myself reading from grimmoire's and muttering obscure incantations until at last, I discovered my own form of magic. Father was thrilled. He had a strong daughter, not a weak little girl anymore; not a child who'd cry at a scabbed knee or a sharp word. For a time, I hated him. I hated him for allowing my mother to die, for stripping away my kindness, forcing me to become something I loathed and abhorred. I wanted to kill him for the longest time.

Until the day of my twenty-first birthday.

On that day I met a strange mage. I suppose you could say he met me, as I was not searching for him directly. That we encountered each other at all was something of a small miracle. I had been assigned an S-Class assignment, my very first job after graduating to that esteemed rank all mages envied. My task? Search for some archaic old staff locked away in the mountains somewhere and return it to the client for payment. That was such a boorish task I thought to myself. I gave no thought to the fact that many had tried and failed before me, nor did I consider that _others_ might be searching for the weapon itself. That it might be guarded for such an occassion. And that was when I met him.

His hair was the color of pure gold, his bright blue eyes the stuff of legends. Such boundless optimism, tempered by years of harsh reality. And he had whiskers. Whiskers! Three to each cheek, as though he were some sort of feral beast, not a man. I asked him his name and he asked me mine. He called himself a God Slayer. I remembered scoffing at that, making light of his supposed Lost Magic. It was the wrong thing to say I know that now. He was the owner of the staff for which I had searched, and it granted him incredible power.

_"Oi,"_ I remember him growling._ "You're really pissing me off, ya know?"_

For the first time I was acutely grateful for father's training; it allowed me to survive whereas I might've otherwise perished. His was a magic I'd never seen before. The very earth moved with his will, nature itself bent to his every whim as it sustained him. I suffered my very first defeat that day, and became diminished in the eyes of my father. Defeat was unacceptable and had we not shared blood he doubtlessly would have thrown me out of the guild. Excommunicated me. Me, his own daughter! Can you imagine my humilation? My shame?

He did not care that the mage_-Naruto was his name-_eventually gave me the staff out of the goodness of his heart. To him, failure in combat, was failure overall. _I_ was a failure; because I failed to defeat a wizard many times my better. Can you believe such a thing?! Whatever lingering affection I felt for my father, whatever scant amount of loyalty I might've owed him died on that day.

I am merely a tool in his eyes now, another means by which to advance the prestige of his oh-so-precious guild. He no long sees me as a daughter, rather, a mage, obligated to do his bidding. That we share the same blood merely causes mine to boil. He dotes upon me on occasion, purchasing dresses and trinkets for me as though they can somehow quell the fire I feel burning inside. Stupid little man. I do not want your affections nor do I need them.

Someday, I'm going to take everything from you. Just as you took everything from me. My mother. My childhood. My innoncence. But to do that, I need strength. Strength I will never possess. Though my unique brand of magic is indeed potent, it is but a candle compared to my father's power. But this mysterious mage...this Naruto character...I sense he might be of use in the coming days. But first I want to know more about him. If he was so kind towards me before, would he offer such kindness again?. I want to know. I have to know.

_I must know._

* * *

_(Many months later in an unknown forest location)_

Indeed, Minerva was beautiful.

Daughter to Jiemma, master of Sabretooth, the most powerful guild in all Fiore, she wanted for nothing. Blessed with her mother's raven tresses and an exquisite body that would make even the most voluptuous of any mage blush, there was no shortage of suitors seeking her hand. Many men, and even some women, had come from parts near and far, seeking her hand. Her affections. She spurned them all in equal measure. None of them could stand against her in combat, making them unworthy of her. She wanted/lacked only one thing. Except a lover. A partner, a companion, someone to respect, with whom she could share her innermost secrets and darkest desires. Someone who had bested her once before held this title, though she could not claim to know his feelings for her.

_"Strength does not come from hatred."_

Minerva shuddered at the memory. Not of his words, but of his body, looming over hers. His bare skin, pressed flush against hers, chest heaving with exertion from their pitched battle. She'd never been brought so low before in all her life. Brought down from her pedestal lowered to her base emotions her pride and arrogance stripped away like tissue paper; her body beaten within an inch of its life. And yet he hadn't taken advantage of her. She'd been so weak it would've been easy for him to take what he wanted from her, to soil her and leaver her there to die by the roadside. Instead he'd bandaged her wound, nursed her back to health and even brought her to the nearest town. He had a good heart, if nothing else. That was rare these days. Most mages in Sabretooth_-herself included-_were obsessed with power. Only Rogue Cheeney seemed indicate anything to the contrary. But she wasn't here for Rogue. She was here for the God Slayer of the Earth.

She was here for Uzumaki Naruto.

Alighting upon the scarred earth, she made her way through the wood, seeking out the cave where they'd met before, many months before. Nearly a year ago he'd handed her, her very first defeat in this very spot. He would doubtlessly still be here, she hoped. She knew not where else to look. And luck, as fate would have it, was on her side. She found him tending a small fire, chewing on the remains of what looked to be some sort of pheasant or fowl. As ever, he was clad in a roughshod tunic, the unimposing garment lending no hint to the musculature lurking beneath. He offered her a piece as she sat on the log opposite him, looking up only as she tentatively accepted the offering and sank her teeth into the meat.

"You again?" The blond arched an eyebrow increduously. "Don't tell me you've come here seeking a rematch."

Minerva shook her head as she chewed, keeping a lid on her initial surge of anger. Reminding herself to swallow_-it was unladlylike to speak with on's mouth full after all-_she looked up and him beneath her lashes, using all her considerable feminine prowess in an attempt to woo him, to lower his inhibition towards the offer she was about to make.

"I have a proposal for you."

He gazed steadfastly at the fire.

"Don't you want to know what it is?" she asked.

Naruto took another bite of the pheasant, chewed stoically, swallowed.

"Not particularly, no."

"What?"

"I said I'm not interested."

Behind Minerva's pale skin, the slow flushing of her face looked almost like a growing forest fire, and she seemed literally unable to catch her breath. How dare he! She'd come all this way to see him and he couldn't at the very least _try_ to feign some show of appreciation?! Oooh, how dare he indeed! She burned at the memory of how easy it had been, how soundly she'd been beaten. Unthinking in her exasperation, she lashed out in anger, her tone biting and caustic.

"I suppose you're content just to twiddle your thumbs and mire yourself in mediocrity then, hmm?" It was a mistake.

Blue eyes flashed silver and crimson. His head whipped around, pinnioning her with a gaze.

"Oi...

An overpowering sensation of pressure bore down upon her like an invisible hand. She sensed something enormous nearby, silent in the dark, like a giant passing within arms reach. A gravid deadly prescence too huge to grant her notice. She glanced to Naruto and saw his lips quirk in a dangerous smile, smirking. A droplet of blood fell from her nose at his words.

Words trickled up at her with the smoke of their fire, and the earth itself seemed to quiver beneath her feet.

"Are you _trying_ to piss me off?"

Minerva's heart hammered in her chest and despite herself, she started. What was this feeling? This odd sensation? It couldn't possibly be...it was! Fear. She was afraid of him, this man who could bend the earth itself to his will, who rendered her magics utterly inefective. Who stripped away her calm, cool facade, sundering her aura of aloofness as if she were naught but a child playing pretend in his eyes. She couldn't think properly around him. Couldn't control the situation; couldn't wield her feminine charms to their full, devastating effect, as she'd always done with every man.

"Are you?" he pressed, eyes narrowing until they were little more than twin pinpricks of crimson.

Beneath that gaze, Minerva felt naked as a newborn, and it shamed her.

"N-No." She cursed herself for the stutter. "Please, forgive my impertinence."

He grunted, returned his attention to the fire. Pushing a branch into the dying flames, he stoked the blaze, eliciting a slew of smoldering embers. Roused by his constant poking and prodding, the blaze reluctantly flared to life once more, burnishing their skin in the cool evening night. Satisfied by his success, the blond returned his attention to her. Up close, she couldn't help but notice what a cute bastard he was. She might loathe him for defeating her, but she simply couldn't deny herself the percursory glance. Golden eyes flicked up and down his rugged torso. The same torso that had once been laid bare during his battle against her. He was indeed handsome, his body and hands chiseled, rugged from years of arduous training. What would it feel like to have him leaning over her once more to have those rugged hands carresing her soft skin, those full lips pressing oh-so-softly against her neck...

"Alright then." He announced, tearing Minerva out of her reverie with such suddenness that she wanted to weep, "I have counter proposal to make."

"I-I beg your pardon?" she was cursing herself even as the words left her lips, struggling to understand what he'd meant. It wasn't like her to linger on such thoughts. Not like her at all.

"I said, I have an offer of my own." The blond clarified. "You'll hear me out, I trust?"

Minerva couldn't help herself; she pouted.

"And I thought I was the selfish one."

"What do you know about Tartarus?" Naruto asked abruptly.

"Tartarus?" The third member of the Ballam Alliance, whom had gone dark after the destruction of Oracion Seis and Grimmoire Heart? "Not much." She admitted.

"They took something from me." He continued on as though she'd said nothing. "Something important. I aim to take it back, but I can't do it alone." His gaze softened. "I was about to go seek you out, actually. But you saved me the time by bringing your considerable talents to my doorstep. So...thank you." Minerva couldn't help but be taken aback by his praise, mild though it was. She felt her cheeks burn, not in anger this time, but in disbelief. Goddess! Was she actually blushing?! He actually thought, that highly of her? She acted like she'd never received a compliment! She had been praised by her fellows before, of course, but it wasn't the same as the plain words spoken by the blond. Their words were hollow. Empty. There was always a an undercurrent of fear lurking within them, the fear of excommunication, if they angered the master's daughter. They were cowards, the lot of them. Afraid to speak their minds. He wasn't.

Naruto's words were simple, and clean, as though he were making an idle observation, not dreading every moment of her scrutiny. It was...most refreshing. Minerva squirmed under the weight of his gaze for a moment longer her face heated. She wanted to hear him praise her again. Wanted to hear those soft words of admiration be spoken of her once more. The need was so childish it almost alarmed her. Almost. What truly alarmed was his request, what he was about to ask of her.

"You want me to help you attack a Dark Guild." Minerva deadpanned. "Just the two of us. Alone."

Naruto nodded.

"Do that, and I'll hear whatever it is you have to say."

"No."

Naruto nearly fell over.

_"Excuse me?"_

"You can't honestly expect me to just accept your request without hearing mine." She countered, reveling in the slight spark of shock as it flitted across his face. "How can I agree to work with you when you won't even listen to what I have to say?"

"You must be joking."

"I'm quite serious."

Naruto glared at her for a long moment, hard, inscrutable.

"Alright." He relented, and this time his smile was only slightly forced. "What was your request again, Minerva-chan?"

"I want you to join my guild." she said, softer than she'd intended.

_"Huh?"_

"I said...I'd like you to come with me to Sabretooth."

This time, Naruto really _did_ fall over. He toppled off the log and onto his back, his visaged numbed by sheer incredulity. Before Minerva could move to take advantage of his sudden weakness however, the blond vaulted to his feet with gusto with a disbelieving shout. His eyes were wide open, his entire body practically vibrating with tension and anxiety.

"Are you insane?!" he hissed. "Why would I want to join your guild?! Do you have any idea why I'm out here in the first place?!" Before she could venture the question he rounded on a nearby tree and gestured with his left hand. The ground beneath it erupted into a flurry of motion as mother earth herself turned against the great oak resting within its bosom. Minerva remembered the spell all too well. He gestured again and a hail the like of countless leaves rained down upon the sundered oak, bifurcating it, slicing it apart into a thousand tiny pieces. To her dismay, she realized he wasn't done. Ripping a great clod of earth from the ground at their feet, he ingested it, swallowing the loamy soil as one would a piece of bread.

Naruto drew a deep breath and expelled it at the remains.

_**"Dojin no Dogō!"** (Earth God's Roar)_

Minerva flung an arm for her face as the clearing erupted in a magic circle of jade, glazing everything in blackened green light, blinding in its brilliance. When next she lowered her arm, when next she could see, a crater ten-men across and five men wide occupied the clearing. A gaping wound filled the spot vacated by the three, as though a giant hand had reached down and ripped out years of forestation in a single instant. Even having seen a spell before, she was nevertheless awed by it. Such power could destroy an entire country. And he needed _her_ to help him take down a Dark Guild?

"That," Naruto hissed, "Is why I'm out here. Alone, in the wilderness. No one will learn this magic. It will die with me."

Minerva weighed her words carefully. The wrong answer could set him off.

"You don't have to train anyone." She ventured.

Naruto balked.

"Sabretooth has plenty of powerful mages already." He sulked, petulant. "Why on earth do you need someone like me?"

"I'm not asking you to teach anyone." Minerva argued softly. "I merely want you by my side." She took a deep breath, steeling herself. She was taking a monumental risk by revealing to him the depths of her intention to dethrone her father, but she'd no choice. There was no one else she could trust with this. "I want you to be there, with me, to help me dethrone my father. To help...take over the guild." If the blond had been baffled prior to her announcement, now he was outright stunned.

"Did I hear you right?" he stepped forward, and took her by the shoulders, eyeing her warily. "You want me by your side."

Minerva nodded as he continued.

"You want me to help you take down your father, possibly the biggest _asshat_ in all of Fiorre." Once, Minerva would've protested at such language. She would've insisted that her father was not, in fact, an "asshat" as he so claimed. But it was true. Naruto's words struck a chord, deep within her. She felt the tears come and swifly slammed a lid on them, determined not to show weakness before the God Slayer. _Weakness._ Unbidden and unwelcome memories of her mother, of her last words, came bubbling back up, rising to the fore in her mind.

_"Darling...don't hate your father..._

But Minerva did. She hated him with such passion that she'd have killed him herself, if only she had the power. But she didn't. She needed Naruto, one of the strongest mages in all of Fiorre, to do it for her. And she did not lie to herself, Minerva didn't. She found him attractive. Given the opportunity, she certainly wouldn't mind if they mixed business with a little_-alright, a lot-_pleasure. But everything hinged on him now. If he accepted her terms, if he agreed to form an alliance with her, they'd be unstoppable. If not...

...well, she needn't have worried.

Because he grinned; it was a gorgeous streak of white in the dark.

"You wanna take down your old man?" Impossibly, Naruto's grin grew, and he held her closer. "Count me in."

"R-Really?" Minerva guffawed.

"But we take care of Tartarus first." Naruto pointed out with a grimace. "If we don't...well, it won't be pretty."

Something in his words screamed a warning at her, but Minerva carefully brushed it aside. It was quite possible that Uzumaki Naruto was absolutely insane. No matter. She could use a little crazy every now and then if it meant ousting her father. Besides, she wasn't exactly sane on that end, either. So she wasn't exactly opposed to it when he took her hand and led her back to the fire. She sat beside him, closer than she would have in the beginning, keenly aware of her own exhaustion now that the danger had passed. She snuggled against him, uncaring for the sudden flush in the blonde's cheeks. She felt comfortable enough to trust him with the first watch tonight. It wasn't as if anyone would come to investigate an explosion in the middle of nowhere, right?

"You do know where their base is, I trust?" she asked as sleep took her. She half-expected an obvious answer. Instead, she received the opposite.

Naruto chuckled blackly.

"Nope, not a clue.

Minerva started awake, eyes bulging in surprise.

"What?!"

He held up a hand for silence.

"But I know someone who might."

"Oh." Sleep began to take her once more, "Does this mysterious contact of yours have a name?" She ne

"Unfortunately, yes." Naruto blanched, shuddering softly. Minerva found her curiosuity piqued, even as she fell into slumber. Peering up at him through bleary eyes, nestling herself against him, Minerva managed to try and form the question even as her conciousness failed her. She felt her head fall into his lap as he shifted uncomfortably, unaccustomed to her close prescence. Nevertheless, his hand was soon stroking at her hair and sending her off to dreamland.

"Who?" she half-mumbled half-asked as her eyes closed.

Naruto shivered all over.

_"Ero-Senin."_

**A/N: Alright, I must be on meth or something. Maybe cocaine. Who in the bloody hell would've ever thought of pairing Naruto with Minerva? Me, of course. She is a complete and total bitch even at the best of times, but I think I protrayed her well in this chapter. She strikes me as the type that's used to getting what she wants; someone who throws a tantrum when she doesn't get what she wants. She also seems like the vengeful, possesive type, knowing what she wants and going after it right out of the gate. Yandere much? Kami knows she's not used to rejection.. but ****she has SOME redeeming qualities other than her beauty, right? RIGHT?**

**We meet Jiraiya next chapter! Naruto and Minerva will be working together to take on Tartarus so there's bound to be some action and romance between. There's going to be some hardcore action coming up, and hey we might even see some Naruto characters pop up in this fic if you want. And Naruto might, MIGHT have a cat despite the fact that he's a God Slayer in this-who could it be?!- hope. Anyway, off to work now, so I look forward to reading your wonderful reviews, dear readers! And on that note, in the immotral words of Atlas...**

**...Review, WOULD YOU KINDLY?**

**R&R! =D**


	2. Law of Retrogression

**A/N: Been awhile, hasn't it? I had to wait for some more information to be shed upon Tartaros, but with this latest revelation of the Dark Guild Succubs Eye, I just couldn't help myself! Things are starting to shape up nicely in the Fairy Tail universe, and now that they have, I've a fair idea of where I want to go with things, including chapters of "When Heaven Wept" and so and so forth. And now that the disclaimer is out of the way, blah blah blah I own nothing at all, I proudly give you...**

**...a very amusing chapter! Sorry if its short!**

_"What the hell?! You turned into a kid!"_

_~Naruto._

**Law of Retrogression**

Minerva was beginning to sorely doubt Naruto's sources. His so-called wellspring of information had turned out to be nothing more than an outlandish old man with long, white hair and perverted streak to match. Jiraiya had been a dissapointment where Tartarus was concerned, but he had pointed them in the direction of another guild, Succubus Eye. Left with no other leads, she'd been forced to comply, set out to find this elusive dark guild. That was when everything started to go downhill.

Minerva didn't understand Naruto's single-minded obsession with Tartarus, nor what they'd taken from him. She simply wanted to obliterate the dark guild and get back to Fiorre in time for the Grand Magic Games. This thought had been at the forefront of her mind for some time now; Naruto would make a truly wonderous addition to their guild. They already had a god-slayer in Orga, but another member of that rare field of magic did them no disservice, she thought. She wanted only to prove her superiority and topple her father. Notihing else mattered. And if she just-so-happened to bring back an all powerful mage like Naruto...well, there certainly were all manner of powerful mages about these days.

Which led them to their current crisis.

Having stubbornly pursued Jiraiya's leads, the unlikely pair found themselves face to face with a massive mountain of a man, the lower half of his face hidden behind a sneering bandanna. His body bore the mark they'd been searching for, that of the Succubus Eye. Naruto seemed to know this man, evidenced by their heated exchange thus far. For the last five minutes he'd been throwing accusations at this stranger, demanding all the while that he return...what was it again?

"For the last time, what the hell did you do with my cat?!"

The large man made a show of scratching the back of his head.

"I already told you, I have no idea what you're talking about-

Ah, yes. His cat. Minerva couldn't help but wonder about that one. Perhaps he meant an Exceed, like Sting's...or maybe something larger? That thought elicited a small shudder. She'd already learned the hard way that Naruto did not adhere to the textbook definition of normacly. He seemed to defy her expectations at every turn. She rather liked that. It had been too long since she'd met someone with whom she could be honest with and open in the true sense of the word. Because the blond was just that; brutally honest. If he didn't like something, he'd certainly say it.

Just as he did now.

"I'm talking about Matabi!" Naruto stomped a foot, causing the earth itself to tremble. "She's blue, _two-fucking-stories tall _and covered in fire! Now tell me where she is!" Minerva nearly did a double-take; it took every ounce of her not in-considerable willpower to prevent herself from guffawing. Who had a pet that big?! Apparently Naruto did. It certainly didn't help that he was already in a foul mood, nor that they'd literally cornered their quarry in the middle of a job, in the middle of the night in some god-forsaken ruins out of town. If something went wrong here, there would be no one to help them. And with each passing second, she could sense the animosity between the two men growing, spriraling into something so vicsious it was almost tangible.

"Will you kindly be quiet?" She sighed, the words piquing with annoyance. "You're getting on my nerves."

"Is that so?" The man's left eye twitched. "Well then...

Slowly, meticulously, he tugged down his bandanna, exposing facial features that had absolutley no business belonging on a human. Minerva's eyes bucked, her body, bristleing. What on earth was he? His mouth...his ears...they were all wrong, sharp fangs and flowing angles. Who was he? What was he?

"If you're going to act like a brat," he rumbled at Minerva, "Then a brat you shall be."

"What?"

"Ah, fuck."

Naruto drew back in the same instant Minerva blinked her surprise, mumbling a wordless warding to protect himself. The Goddess was of the same mind, but for some reason, her magic wasn't responding as it ought to have done. Her body felt strange, she couldn't bring it to move properly, to obey her commands-

"What're you...

The mage started rotating his finger counter clockwise. "I'd call you a child, but compared to me even that is too generous for you." As his finger kept rotating Minerva felt a strange sensation dawning on her, prickling up and down her spine. Suddenly, she felt as if her clothes were drooping from her. Her gloves slipped from her arms and she fell over as she tripped on her pants and boots. "This, will remind you of your place. It will remind you, that Tartarus is not to be trifled with!" he said as he kept rotating his finger in slowl, rhythmic motions.

Minerva fell to the ground, tumbling, trembling.

"M-My body...what are you...

Minerva looked to be about eighteen now, her face having lost some of its former twenty-plus maturity. As Narto uwatched, she seemed to be de-aging more rapidly. Her features became thinner, more youthful, and her chest began to recede. Minerva's full chest, which was displayed most prominently by her tight dress, started to seem less impressive. She didn't unconsciously readjusted her bra nonethless, in a vain attempt to retain her chest, but to no avail.

"W-W-W-What's happening to me...

With every rotation of the man's finger she felt a year slipping away from her.

The mage's spell continued to take its relentless toll; Minerva's bust continued to shrink, her features became even softer, her legs and ass thinned, she became slowly shorter, and her hips surrendered their womanly proportions. She was wearing a pair of low-riding, hip-hugging pants beneath the dress, and as a result of her decreased dimensions, they lost their hold on her and crumpled to the ground.

"Oi oi...

Naruto was afforded a brief view of the sorceress's panties before she hiked her dress back up.

She looked down to see what had caused her pants to fall, and saw her diminished breasts. Letting her pants drop, she pulled her collar open and looked into her shirt.

Her eyes widened as she saw...

Nothing.

She was horrified to find her breasts, once plump globes, reduced to modest growths resting within the spacious confines of the bra they once filled.

"Naruto!" She cried! "Do something!"

"Like what?!"

"You're a god-slayer, aren't you?" she demanded. "Fix thith!" she immediely cursed her lisp.

"I'm not omnipotent, princess!" he snapped back at her.

Minerva was shrinking rapidly now, suffering from a reverse growth spurt. Her shirt billowed on her, slipping down to cover her flattening ass. She was utterly at a loss for words whilst the changes took their toll; a child stunned into silence whilst her legs became thin and boring, her little breasts became even littler and melted into her chest, leaving her bra hanging uselessly on her small shoulders. The process stopped, leaving her an awkward, seven year-old, feebly looking up at Naruto, whose mouth hang open in a silent 0.

"What the hell?!" He gawked at her. "You turned into a chibi!"

Naruto was right. Thought it galled her to admit it, he was right.

Minerva's voice, no longer low and sultry, now the high pitched squall of a little girl, shrieked out into the night.

"What devilry is this?!"

"Retrogression." The dark mage murmurred, smug in his satisfaction. "That form is just a side effect of it. You won't be able to get in my way now, girl."

"Shit," she muttered beneath her breath." "Shit shit shit!"

"Now its your turn," The strange mage returned his attention Naruto and raised both hands. "Prepare to enjoy your youth, boy-OOF!"

Naruto didn't react; didn't give any indication that he'd heard him. He simply moved. One minute he was standing stock still, the next his fist was buried elbow deep into the non-human's gut, the hilt of his sword acting like a knuckle-duster, sending the mage careening across the ruins. It all happened so swiftly, Minerva was certain she would've missed it had she blinked. Naruto drew back and inhaled mightily, his lungs swelling with untold power even as the non-human crashed head over heels and onto his back.

_"Dojin no..._

Sapphire snapped into scarlet.

**...DOGO!"**

Minerva flung up a tiny arm for her face as the ground erupted in a magic circle of jade, glazing everything in blackened green light, blinding in its brilliance. When next she lowered her arm, when next she could see, a mushroom-cloud could be seen spiralling into the distance. A gaping wound filled the spot where the ruins had once stood-as though a giant's hand had reached down and wiped out everything in a instant. Even having seen the spell before, she was nevertheless awed by it. Such power!

And then the god-slayer was beside her, looming over her, picking her up, clothes and all, drawing her now-tiny form into his arms. Minerva squeaked in protestation,but once more her cries fell upon deaf ears. Without another word Naruto broke into a trot, bounding away from the site of the explosion. Nothing could have survive that, she thought. Nothing. But if so, then why was she still trapped in this form? No, Minerva realized, if she was still stuck in this child-like body, than that could only mean...

"That wasn't enough." Naruto hissed at her, as though he'd read her very mind. "The bastard's still alive. Granted, I was only at half power when I shot that thing off but still...I'll need some time to recharge after using that much energy.

Minerva pouted.

"So I'm stuck like this, for the duration."

The God-Slayer shurgged.

"I suppose so, but hey, look on the bright side!"

"And what might that be?"

Naruto poked at her cheek.

"You're so cute like this!"

Minerva's face flushed several shades of scarlet.

"Sh-Shut up!"

With that, they did the only thing they could.

_They ran._

**A/N: Poor Minerva. You really are a master of biting off more than you can chew, aren't ya, babe? As to how Naruto resisted the spell...who knows? Perhaps God-Slayer magic merely makes one immune. I know, this chapter is light and amusing, I'm trying not to be droll and dramatic or depressing as of late, if my latest story "An Arrow to the Knee" is any indication. I hope you enjoyed it, and laughed as much as I did! There's plenty more hilarity to come! And the Matabi (Two-Tails) is his cat?! Lol, it was the most ridiculous thing I could think of! Poor Minerva, she's about to be forced to relive her childhood until Naruto has a chance to wipe the floor with that mage...**

**So...in the immortal words of Atlas..**

**...Review, Would You Kindly?**

**R&R!=D**


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